Author: Eric Deeter

Speaking notes

If you made a list of everything you love, would you include your own name on the list?

If you’ve been out shopping you’ve probably noticed the next major holiday is Valentine’s Day.

(Public Service Announcement) Men: She probably doesn’t want flannel pajamas or a giant Teddy Bear.

The advertisers try to sell you on how to show your love to “that special someone” in your life.

And they have a vested interest in keeping you focused on loving other people. They don’t want you thinking about the most important person you should love – YOURSELF

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I was talking with a client this week as she was helping her 5 yo son make Valentine’s cards for his class.

He said, “Where’s the card for me?”

She explained that Valentine’s was about showing love for others.

He said, “But I love myself. I should make a card for me.”

Given what I know about our world, I’m afraid he will lose this attitude by the time he grows up.

The only place you’re supposed to help yourself first is on an airplane.

Our natural inclination is to be selfish.

And we have to be taught how to get along with others.

Parents, school, church

Jesus

Others

Yourself

Jesus – Greatest commandment

Added the second – Love your neighbor as yourself.

Most miss the point: You have to love yourself first.

The JOY formula means we treat others better than we treat ourselves.

You have to love yourself first before you can love others.

When you don’t love yourself you look for other people to love you in an attempt to feel whole.

This feeds the money machine as the corporations convince you to buy chocolate, cards, Teddy Bears, and pajamas.

Question: How do you love yourself without becoming a selfish jerk?

1. Take care of yourself first.

Value yourself enough to be secure in your own skin.

Become the best version of yourself, so that your identity is internal rather than external.

If you’re constantly looking outside yourself for who you are then your love will become selfish.

2. Work to be the best version of yourself so you can serve others.

Airplane: your mask first, then help others.

Loving yourself means you’re living from your true identity. 

If your identity is that of a selfish jerk, then it will show.

But you always have the choice about who you are.

Loving yourself includes paying attention to who you are and making yourself be better.

Running and directing the Cruel Jewel

Swimming was Sarah’s sport when she was in school.

She didn’t get into running until her late 20s.

Her husband was deployed and she found herself with time on her hands so she hired a personal trainer to teach her how to run.

She ran shorter races and worked her way up to a half-marathon.

She made a friend who was an experience runner. And this friend introduced her to the local running community. 

They encouraged her to skip the marathon distance and run a 50K.

The running group then got her to sign up for a 50 mile race.

The race was the Cruel Jewel, one of the toughest 50 mile races in the country.

She was ready to quit only 8 miles from the finish, but her now ex-husband was in the military and told her she had to finish.

She ended up running Cruel Jewel several more times and got acquainted with the Race Directors.

She and her boyfriend, Sean, live close to them and they all became friends.  

In 2017 they asked Sarah and Sean to help with the Race Director job.

They were co-Race Directors for several years until this year their friends turned over three races to them and they are now the sole team directing races.

Race Directing has its challenges and surprises, just like ultramarathon running.

They have to change the route of the course on the Cruel Jewel this year because of changes in the fee structure for using the Georgia State Parks.

She made connections with Jessica Vandenbush of https://www.eatcleanrundirty.com/

That led her to be part of their documentary film, The Twenty Percent Project.

This documentary looks at the disparity between the number of men and women in ultramarathon races.

At present, an average of only 20% of ultramarathon participants are women.

Bridge questions:

Must-have aid station food: Tomato soup and watermellon.

Strangest thing seen on the trail: A hiker on the Appalachian Trail who brought a goat along with him.

Word or phrase: Let’s fucking go!

Once upon a time . . .

You know a story is coming next when you hear this introduction.

And you know the story will require you to suspend your disbelief in what is possible.

In the story of the Three Little Pigs you have to accept that pigs have money, build houses, and negotiate business deals with strangers on the road.

You also have to believe that wolves are polite enough to knock on your door before they eat you and that they huff and puff when you refuse to let them in.

But the lesson you were supposed to learn from this story isn’t what you thought. 

Building a house out of bricks isn’t good enough. 

You need to be able to adapt and improvise when the wolf uses the Santa Claus strategy and comes down the chimney.

This story illustrates the way our minds work. 

We respond to “the real world” through stories.

And the people who want to use us for profit or power use stories to keep us trapped in their version of reality: a reality that serves them.

If we are going to be free and be successful, we have to learn how to tell ourselves a different story.

We have to learn to tell ourselves a story that makes us to be the best version of ourselves.

What we talked about:

Shaun is a returning guest from Episode 72.

When we last heard from Shaun he was in transition from the military to civilian life.

He has since been hired by a Danish startup company that does temporary luggage storage for travelers.

Shaun stopped running for a while when he was in the transition to his new civilian career.

Then he started “running” his kids to preschool by pushing them there in a jogging stroller. Now he’s known as the “Running Dad.”

He recently finished the Dopey Challenge, one of the Disney races.

There are 4 distances over 4 days: 5K, 10K, Half-marathon, and Marathon.

It is a “fun” event in that thousands participate and run through the Disney parks. People stop to take selfies and slow down the rest of the runners.

He got in the lottery for the New York City half-marathon. His wife didn’t get in, and they had hoped to run together.

He has signed up for a 100K trail race in Central Florida. The race is in June and has minimal support. He is planning for how to train and prepare his gear.

We talked about how the trail ultramarathons seem to feel more like “true ultramarathons.” The road doesn’t have the same feeling.

Bridge Questions:

What food should be at every aid station?: Bacon!!

What is the strangest thing you’ve seen on a run?: He closed a sale with a new client via phone while running.

What is your word or phrase?: You can do hard things.

Connect with Shaun: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaunbemis/

Speaking Notes

Have you ever said:

It’s too cold/hot/wet to run today.

I’ll do my workout tomorrow.

It’s only a small piece of cake.

I’ve been eating salads for 2 weeks. One night of pizza and watching football won’t matter.

One drink isn’t going to hurt anything.

I should call my friend/mom/sister/brother . . . I’ll do it later.

I’ve been too busy to work on my goals. I’ll do it when things slow down a bit.

All these are indicators that you may be in a SLOW FADE.

It happens in fitness, nutrition, goals, and relationships.

Two danger areas: 1. After you start. 2. After fantastic success.

INTRO

The key to success and living a life where you do epic stuff is consistency in small things.

And those small things have to be done over a long time.

2-week crash diet won’t last.

You have to change the way you eat. You have to change your mindset about food.

We’re coming into the 3rd week of January.

Gyms are still crowded. And the year-round members are just waiting for everyone to leave in a few weeks.

The regular members know you have to be consistent.

We are into the third week of January.

If you made resolutions you’re probably experiencing the fade right now.

You started off well. You had good intentions. 

But now you’re starting to make little compromises (excuses).

“I’ll do it later.” “Will do double tomorrow.”

Resolutions have a faster fade!

That’s why I tell my people not to make resolutions.

Free Crush Your Goals course – ultraminsetpodcast.run

But the most dangerous slow fade is after you’ve had success.

Lost weight

Started working out . . . running.

Set a goal and crushed it.

If you don’t stay focused you can enter into a slow fade.

Stay in a slow fade long enough and it becomes a QUIT!

That doesn’t mean you can’t take a break now and then.

But “taking a break” can turn into a slow fade to a QUIT!

Here’s how it happened to me.

I was in my late 20s.

I was starting to gain weight and decided I would take up running.

I did the normal thing and just got some shoes and went out to run.

Eventually I ran a few 10K races (no 5Ks back then)

Then I set my goal to run a marathon.

Lincoln Marathon was supposed to be the easiest (flattest).

Out and back . . . coming back was into 20 mph wind.

But I finished!

“I was a runner.”

I didn’t set a new goal. Ran a few races.

Time passed.

I stopped measuring my miles.

I started skipping opportunities to run.

I gained weight.

I still thought of myself as a runner. 

But I kept running less and less.

One day I realized I was back where I started.

Running even a mile was too much.

So I quit running for the next 30 years.

I started running again in 2017.

Set a goal. Crushed it. Set another goal. Reached that one too.

Got plugged into the trail running community.

Started a podcast about running.

But last year I didn’t run any races. → Lots of life happening last year.

So I didn’t log as many miles.

Gained weight.

I remember this feeling. 

I’m still a runner. But I’m not the runner I was a few years ago.

There’s nothing wrong with taking a break!

A strategic reset for your body and mind isn’t a bad thing.

But the danger is you can enter into the SLOW FADE.

Not just running. The SLOW FADE can happen in any area of your life.

“I’ve been working hard. I can coast for a little bit.”

How to keep yourself from the SLOW FADE:

Set a time limit.

Reset what you want for yourself.

Set new goals.

These tools work for both the short and long-term SLOW FADE.

Getting it done with the “Dad Training Plan.”

Today’s Guest: Devin Nelson

Information:

Devin has been running ultra marathon distances for three years.

He ran obstacle races and ran the World’s Toughest Mudder last year.

He returned to Silverheels after failing to finish and in 2022 he achieved it.

Silverheels was the only 100 mile race he did in 2022.

Things we discussed:

Devin ran the World’s Toughtest Mudder again this year.

His goal was 75 miles and he reached his goal this time.

We talked about why he is back in the program and that when he was in 2021 there was a lot going on in his life.

Devin is part of a running group in Topeka, KS. He has convinced several of his friends to commit to ultramarathons.

He said that this year the World’s Toughest Mudder was harder because the weather was colder this year.

If you can’t complete an obstacle, you have to take a penalty. In one of the difficult obstacles the penalty was to ride a bouncy ball for a set distance.

The first half of the year Devin’s training consisted of a lot of running because he was focused on the Silverheels 100.

In his training he does kettlebell workouts, circuit training, lots of intervals.

He called his training plan the “Dad Plan.” He fits in his workouts whenever he can squeeze them in.

Connect with Devin:

Facebook

Instagram

Speaking Notes:

If you make all your goals SMART goals, you may be limiting your life to routine & boring.

Yes. It’s possible that SMART goals are keeping you from experiencing a life that is EPIC!

Now, you may be happy with your life the way it is. You may not want your life to be EPIC.

But I’m going to guess that you’re not looking to just coast through your life. 

SMART goals!

I talked about these last week.

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Time-Bound

SMART goals are good in a lot of situations.

But if you only set SMART goals you are going to limit yourself to only average results and an average life.

Last week – Some of your most important goals can’t be easily measured.

Today I want to talk about Achievable goals.

Yes, you need to have achievable goals.

Having a goal to be 6” taller next year is not going to happen. Unless you’re 14.

But don’t let the idea of “Achievable” be an excuse to set goals that are “Safe.”

Here’s a clue that you’re setting your goals too small.

If you feel stuck, you might be playing it too safe.

If you feel like your’re in Groundhog Day, you might be playing it too safe.

If you feel tired and sluggish, you might be playing it too safe.

If you have brain fog and get distracted, you might be playing it too safe.

If you often feel bored, you might be playing it too safe.

If you crave a six pack and a pickup truck, you might be a Redneck.

Oops!

When you set your goals for 2023, you need to have some that are hard!

There is something about doing hard things that stokes the fire in your soul.

Lazarus Lake created the Barkley Marathons.

He designs the race to be almost impossible to finish.

15 finishers – (18 times) since it started in 1986.

Lazarus Lake: People need to face a challenge that is nearly impossible. 

JFK: We choose to go to the moon because it’s hard!

Please understand that I’m not saying you need to make your goals next to impossible.

But if you want to grow as a person.

If you want to become the best version of yourself you can possibly be.

You probably need to step up your opinion of what you can achieve.

Candice Burt (race director): If you don’t have some DNFs as a runner you’re probably not challenging yourself enough.

Here’s my challenge. In your goal-setting, find a goal that will be hard.

Find a goal that has a real chance of failure. And if you fail, then re-group and try again.

It’s the hard things we do that give us the most satisfaction.

So make your “Achievable” something that will bring out your best.

That’s how you become the best version of yourself.

Desert running in the summer and Arctic running in the winter.

Today’s Guest: Ray Zehab

Information:

Ray grew up in Ohio.

He started running in his 30’s.

When he started doing sports his whole life changed.

He started running Ultras around the world.

Ray is the creator of Impossible to Possible, a foundation that does free expedition based learning programs for students.

Things we discussed:

He was not happy with the path his life was taking so he decided to change it.

He didn’t know what to do with his life, and his little brother was doing a lot of adventures that he found very inspiring so he decided to give it a try.

When he met the Ultra he thought it was crazy but he decided he would like to try it and he ended up winning that race and he couldn’t believe it.

He tells us that when he crossed the finish line of his first ultra he had figured out how to overcome his negative thoughts.

He saysthat learning is one of his favorite parts of his adventures.

We talk about the impact of remote education.

His next expedition is in the Arctic.

Ray is the Author of 2 books: Running for My Life, and Running to Extremes. He is working on his third book

Bridge questions:

Your most important piece of gear: I-phone.

Strangest thing you’ve ever seen: The petraglyphs in the Atacama Desert

Word or phrase that describes your philosophy of life: The most difficult challenge we face is 90% mental and the other 10% is all in our heads.

https://linktr.ee/Rayzahab

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