Take care of your thoughts when you’re alone, and take care of your words when you’re with people. ~Zig Ziglar
Your thoughts are stories made up of words. And your mindset is created from the stories you tell yourself.
The words you use create your reality. Not New Age woo-woo.
You don’t experience the world as it is. You experience the world through perceptions of what it is. Your perceptions are stories you make up about the world.
For example: Event (what happens) – your senses (what you see/hear) – your mind creates a story: what it means to you and for you.
Mind is a database of stories – who you are and how the world works.
The words you use and the stories you create from those words form what is “real” for you.
Words have power over the “real world.”
Plants respond to words and intention. Talking to plants often something people joke about.
My experiment with bean seeds. Good words created more growth. Bad words created wilted plants.
Effect of negative and positive words on bean sprouts.
Imagine that what you say could immediately create an effect in time and space.
Words people say about themselves:
I’m such a klutz.
I always mess up.
I can’t do it.
I’m such an idiot.
I’m getting the flu…cold.
Because it doesn’t happen immediately, we tend to be careless with our words.
My word for this year is “words.” I pick a word for the year instead of resolutions.
This year I will pay even closer attention to the words I use.
I will speak as if my words will make it real . . . make it happen.
I believe there is power in words. Even if you don’t fully believe, you’ll be better off speaking positive words to yourself and others.
Hope is powerful! You need hope to keep going when the going gets tough.
Hope is that flicker of belief that things can get better . . . that things might get better. Even cranky pessimists have at least a little spark of hope, no matter how they try to hide it.
But hope won’t help you change.
Don’t get me wrong! You and I need hope. But hope is focused on something “out there” to happen to make everything better.
Hope is playing the lottery. You don’t expect to win, but you know there’s a chance.
So you’re saying there’s a chance . . .
What most of us do with New Year Resolutions is no different. We invest very little and hope for massive returns. This kind of hope is like waiting for a miracle.
I believe in miracles.
I’ve seen miracles happen. God will sometimes step in and act for our benefit.
But I can tell you from experience that more often than not God is waiting for us to get off our ass and do something.
My choices determine the life I get.
I put up with a mediocre life for years hoping for a miracle. I’d set goals and only put in a minimal effort. I was waiting for divine lightning to strike and make me healthy, wealthy, and wise.
I finally figured out that God gave me the ability and responsibility to choose what I get in this life.
Turning the page of the calendar into a new year and decade makes us feel almost obligated to make some changes in our life.
Add to this the peer pressure that comes from “everyone making resolutions,” and we tend to make Resolutions about minor quirks or annoying habits that don’t matter all that much.
So we make Resolutions with a handful of hope and a dash of indifference.
Are your Resolutions keeping you from what you really want?
You won’t get rich from playing the lottery.
You won’t get the life you want by making Resolutions each year.
Decide to get what you want.
Any change starts with a decision.
If you’re like me, you want more from life than what you’ve got right now. I plan to keep growing and improving always.
So why not ditch the resolutions this year and decide to go after something you really want for your life?
It is possible to get what you want in life. It starts with deciding what you want and then going for it.
This could be your year . . . your decade. It’s never to late to start.
When you have an “ultramarathon mindset,” you can accomplish more than you imagine is possible. Get started by checking out my FREE guide for the 3-Steps to Guaranteed Success. Just leave me your name and email for instant access.
Have you noticed that most of us make New Year’s Resolutions knowing in our heart that we’re going to fail? In fact it’s kind of a running joke about how long Resolutions last.
I heard someone say this morning that they set a low bar for any Resolutions they make. That’s their strategy for not failing? Why even bother?
Do you make New Year Resolutions?
Something about turning the page on a new year makes us want to do something. None of us are perfect. So there’s always something you can find that you “should” try to change. But think about this: What good does it do if you believe deep inside that you’re going to fail?
I found something that can help.
Ten years ago, I moved from “Resolutions” to goal-setting. It’s kind of the same thing. But a goal feels a bit more serious. You’re supposed to work harder on a goal than a Resolution.
But I had the same luck with goals as with Resolutions.
I followed what the gurus said. I wrote my goals down. I set a deadline. Then I folded my notebook closed and went about my life.
My goal setting ended up being yet another thing I felt guilty about. Another marker that I was a loser. For example, I set a goal to lose 20 pounds for over 10 years. The most I lost was 5. And I gained that back and more each year.
The power of a DECISION.
The year 2017 was a turning point in my life. I wrote my weight-loss goal as a decision. I also wrote the end result rather than the process.
“I will lose 20 pounds” is a decision, but here’s the problem. Our minds need clarity. And negative concepts don’t give clarity. Lose 20 pounds feels squishy.
My mind clicked when I wrote: I will weigh 200 pounds or less on Jan. 1, 2018. The power of writing my positive outcome in the form of a decision was amazing. I went into 2018 at 199 pounds.
This is your year!
What do you want to do this year? If you wrote Resolutions or goals for the year, did you make them as decisions or wishes?
Try this! Take your Resolutions or goals and put them in the form of what you will accomplish or have done by the end of the year.
Before you know it, you’ll be setting and crushing goals you can’t even imagine right now.
Yes, you can do it! I believe in you.
When you have an “ultramarathon mindset,” you can accomplish more than you imagine is possible. Get started by checking out my FREE guide for the 3-Steps to Guaranteed Success. Just leave me your name and email for instant access.
Running calms me. It reminds me I’m enough. It allows me to connect with my deepest thoughts and feel all the feels- all the stuff I ignore or am too busy to process in daily life. Running is so much more than just moving my legs, it allows me to move through life.
You don’t have to ask yourself why you do what you do. Most people don’t take time to think about their “WHY”. Everyone is buried under busy schedules and distractions like Netflix and Facebook.
Thinking takes effort. So we ignore the philosophical questions like “WHY?” and just focus on “What’s next?”
Why you should find your WHY.
You don’t need to find your WHY if you’re content with an average life. As I said, most people don’t ever think about why they do what they do. They just stay busy.
But if you want to go after a big goal or dream, your WHY can help you keep focused and keep you moving forward.
3 Steps to Help Find Your WHY.
Step 1: Get clear about your WHAT.
Before you can find your WHY you have to know your WHAT.
What do you want? This is the question you must answer.
Don’t be like the guy I used to be! I told myself that I wanted my life to be different and better. I lived way below my potential. But, if you’d asked me back then what I wanted my life to look like, I couldn’t have told you.
Step 2: Write ten or more reasons why you want what you want.
Here’s the time to dig deep. Your mind will try to trick you. Your first “WHY” answers will come easily, and they’ll make you feel good. And you’d be proud to post them on Facebook.
Tell your brain “Thanks! This is a good start, but what else?”
You see, your mind will always be satisfied with the easiest answer. And when your mind gets an answer it’s ready to move on to other important matters.
Bring your mind back to this question and write until you have 10 answer to your WHY.
Congratulate yourself when you’re finished and take a break. Yes, I’m serious. Do something else and give your mind a chance to wander elsewhere.
Then come back to your list and . . .
Step 3: Pick the one WHY that feels the most true.
Please understand this: I’m not saying that any of your WHY statements are untrue.
But some of your WHY’s are more true than others. Listen to your gut and intuition. Pick the one that feels the strongest.
Why does WHY matter?
If you’re a runner, why do you run? If you’re going after a big goal or dream, why are you doing it? Pick whatever change you want to make: losing weight, changing jobs, starting a business, changing the world.
Knowing your WHY will do two things for you. (Actually, you will use your WHY for more than two things. But you can discover those on your own.)
First, a strong WHY helps you in the day to day of working for your goal.
To run any distance, you have to put in the miles of training. The longer the race you’re training for, the more important your WHY is. You’re tempted every day to let “life” push aside working toward your goal. Your WHY will keep you on track and focused.
Second, a strong WHY can keep you going with the going gets tough.
Ultramarathon runners know well the “pain cave” that comes when you push your limits. Your body and mind are begging to just quit and forget finishing the race. A powerful WHY helps you bring back your focus to keep moving forward.
“Running is more than just moving my legs. It helps me move through life.”
Your mind is powerful. Most of us never learn how to harness that power. You can get started with my FREE 3-Steps to Guaranteed Success. Leave your name and your best email for instant access.
The Pumpkin Holler 100, in Tahlequah, OK, is billed as “relatively flat.” This is true if you compare it to other 100 mile ultramarathons in, say, the Rocky Mountains.
I was hot. I was on pavement. (I’m a trail runner. I prefer dirt.) The hills were oppressive. Then, a local resident used her car in road rage against some runners ahead of me, forcing one into the ditch then swerving around another before stopping and backing up and hitting him. (He wasn’t hurt badly. And he kept going.)
And my mental game was dripping away like the sweat I was losing.
I lost my focus.
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t thinking about quitting. Not even close.
I was moving forward. And I was well ahead of time for the goal I’d set. But from mile 32 to mile 37, my mental game was in the toilet.
From the outside, I looked fine. If you’d asked me, I’d have told you I was fine. So it took me about 5 miles before I saw the danger I was in.
My mind was on autopilot. My body was on autopilot. My thoughts were going like a herd of cats.
Because of my scattered thoughts, I slowed down, and my economy of motion was in a deficit. Now, you know that the government is the only thing that keeps going with an continuous deficit. I was headed for trouble. . . because my mindset had slipped.
Running with focus and flow.
My ultramarathon mindset training doesn’t prevent me from having low points and mental struggles. I don’t just dial in to a zen state and flow blissfully through the miles.
The mental game for running an ultramarathon takes work. Your attention and your focus will wander. In fact, I expect my attention to wander when I’m running.
What works for me is to be in FOCUS and flow for 30 – 60 seconds every 5 minutes or so.
Flow states tend to be fleeting. But my ultramarathon mindset practice gives me the tools to create a “running flow state” at will.
You better pull your head together before you get to the start/finish and pick up your first pacer.
My self-talk at Mile 37
Getting my sh#T together.
I started training my mindset long before I thought about running an ultramarathon.
I’ve narrowed down my niche on this blog to talk about ultramarathon mindset. But my past blog posts were all about how to transform your life. It just so happens that the practice I developed to help me focus on what I want for my life works great for running ultramarathons.
Yes, my mental game was in the toilet. But getting my sh#T together wasn’t difficult. You see, I’ve conditioned my mindset through regular practice. You can say that I train for this.
Just like I train to run, conditioning the muscles in my body to work together to do what I want them to. My attention is a muscle. And I’ve trained my thoughts to follow my attention. That “herd of cats” running wild — my unfocused thoughts — fell in line once my attention gave notice to get this sh#T together!
Running an ultramarathon is all about managing your energy. For most runners, this means eating what they need and pacing themselves.
I think the best ultramarthon runners have learned how to manage their attention and focus as well. Because focused attention means focused energy. When my mental game went in the toilet, my energy was going with it.
I’m not an elite ultramarathon runner. I fact, I’m just getting started. And I’m a back-of-the-pack runner . . . for now. But I can feel the difference in energy flow through my body when I FOCUS my attention.
My first 100 mile race.
I’m glad for the lessons I learned in the Pumpkin Holler 100. I learned I don’t want any more gravel or pavement 100 milers. I’ll be running a 100 mile race or two next year. I have a date for redemption with The Hawk 100 in September, 2020. I want to be running on dirt, jumping over rocks and tree roots.
I’m already back at my FOCUS exercises, training my mindset to be ready for when my body is back up to full strength. (I’ve found that my mindset work aids and speeds my recovery as well.)
My sights are set on some bigger goals ahead. I’m going to keep moving forward, past what my mind thinks are my limits!
The best crew and pacers I could have asked for.
When you have an “ultramarathon mindset,” you can accomplish more than you imagine is possible. Get started by checking out my FREE guide for the 3-Steps to Guaranteed Success. Just leave me your name and email for instant access.
These two steps are the guaranteed way for how to change your life . . . if you do them.
1. Start.
I told you this is simple. You have to start!
And, in order to start, you have to decide.
You won’t ever get to know how to change your life if you don’t decide to take this simple step and start.
Start . . . even if you think you’re not ready.
Start . . . even if you’re scared.
Start . . . even if you think you’ll fail.
Start . . . even if you have no one to encourage you.
Start . . . especially when you don’t have it all figured out.
Start . . . all you need right now is one small step.
Your challenge is to make the decision to get moving. You can adjust your plan as you go along. You’ll have to adjust even if you’ve already made a detailed plan of how to change your life. No plan survives intact when released into the real world.
2. Don’t stop.
Here is the sure way to fail and stay stuck in your rut — quit. I used to be good at quitting. And it took me decades to figure out that “don’t stop” was the way to change my life.
This two step formula will change your life.
This formula is simple. But it’s not easy. And you’ll feel resistance even at the point of “make a decision to change your life.” This resistance is what keeps most people always wanting a change, and yet few ever really take steps to make a change.
Others have done it. You can too!
Full disclosure here . . . I watched hundreds of stories like Jason Cohen’s–in the video below–and never took the first step. I never made the decision to start. You may be like me . . . or, rather, like I used to be.
Here’s the thing . . . these stories will keep your dream alive until you’re ready to take the steps to change your life. So take 16 minutes and watch Jason’s story. If he can do it, you can too.
When you have an “ultramarathon mindset,” you can accomplish more than you imagine is possible. Get started by checking out my FREE guide for the 3-Steps to Guaranteed Success. Just leave me your name and email for instant access.
There are three kinds of people: Some people watch what happens. Some people make things happen. Some people wonder what happened. How to change your life means you are a person who makes things happen. And the people who make things happen know how to change your life by living from the inside out.
If you’ve ever asked, “What does a life coach do?” I can only answer for what I do as a life coach. I help you change your life so that you find, and live from, who you are. That’s what I mean when I say that you only find success when you live from the inside out.
Why do you want to change your life?
What do you want your life to be like? This question can be hard to answer.
However, a better question is, “Why do you want to change?”
You see, asking “Why?” gets to the core of the issue.
You may be like I used to be. You got thrown into this game of life. And you learned the “rules” we all were taught.
Rules like:
More is better. Get more!
Bigger is better. Get it bigger and better!
Get more stuff. You are what you have.
Get a good job and be successful.
You’ll want other people to notice your success.
Get all of the above and you’ll be happy..
Living from the outside in.
Think about this for a minute:
A fish never thinks about being wet.
You and I swim in a sea of marketing and advertising. And the ads sell you the line that you need to get more stuff, better stuff, bigger stuff, to get fame and fortune because this will make you happy.
Furthermore, consider this. All of your education and social norms are based on living from the outside in. What you have and what you do makes you who you are. And you probably never think to ask, “Why?”
Photo by Dewang Gupta on Unsplash
This is a question you should ask yourself.
Because, when you decide to figure out how to change your life, your WHY is important.
You can find plenty of life coaches to help you run faster and harder after an “outside in” life. However, think about this. What if you get all the stuff you want? And the fame and reputation too? Will you be happy?
Living from the inside out.
I’ve worked with a lot of wealthy people. Here’s what I’ve found.
A lot of wealthy people are happy.
Some of them aren’t happy.
The nice house and all their stuff isn’t where their happiness comes from.
Be happy first.
I think the answer to “What does a life coach do?” is helping you answer your “Why?” first. This is how to change your life.
Learn how to be happy. Then you can attract the life you want to have.
Living from the inside out isn’t about learning how to be happy and poor. It’s about changing your life by choosing to be happy first. And happiness is a pursuit. The surest way to kill your happiness is thinking that your life will never get any better than where you are right now.
Photo by Fernando Brasil on Unsplash
Be who you are to have what you want.
Just a simple shift of focus is huge when you want to change your life. Who you are determines what you have in your life. In other words, what you have comes to you because of who you are. It doesn’t make you who you are.
You won’t realize you’re wet until you get out of the water.
What does a life coach do? They help you get out of the water and see your life from a different perspective. You still have to swim if you’re going to succeed. But when you know your WHY, you can go farther and faster to live the life you want. And you’ll enjoy the pursuit of happiness, because happiness isn’t a destination. It’s the fuel you need to travel this road of life.
What kind of life do you want to live? You can start living your best life ever. It starts with a simple conversation. Contact me and let’s talk.
