Where your limiting beliefs come from
Imagine this. 5 monkeys in a room. Bananas hanging on ceiling. A ladder under the bananas.
All monkeys sitting in corner. Occasionally one looks at bananas, but none move.
New monkey comes in. Sees bananas, goes to bottom of ladder and starts to climb. All 5 of original monkeys attack the newcomer.
What is gong on here?
Story: Starts with one monkey in the room. Whenever he heads toward the ladder, he gets sprayed with cold water. After repeated tries, he gives up and sits in the corner.
A new monkey is added. When he goes to get bananas, the first monkey attacks. Repeats until both are sitting in corner.
Repeat for 4 more new monkeys.
Original monkey is removed. But every new monkey is attacked.
All monkeys sit in the corner and never go near the ladder.
None of the monkeys know why.
I heard this story as a “scientific study.” But it’s only a story.
But it is an illustration of how we as humans get our limiting beliefs.
3 ways limiting beliefs get into your mindset.
- Folklore
Beliefs and customs passed down from family and culture.
Most of what you believe about yourself and how the world works comes from what you see, hear, and experience between 2 and 7 years old. Family has biggest influence.
The following years, until about 20, you are still influenced by “folklore.”
- The Flea Circus
These limiting beliefs come from bumping your head against circumstances.
Flea circus training. Jar with lid.
Confirmation bias. You take your beliefs from Folklore and expect life to be the way you believe.
What usually happens is that you find even more limiting factors and turn those into beliefs.
- You must cut off the end of the roast
Newlyweds: Wife cooking tenderloin. Cut 3’ off the end and set it aside. The put roast in the pan.
Husband: Why cut off the end.
Wife: That’s the way to cook tenderloin.
Wife calls mom: That’s what your grandma taught me.
Mom calls grandma: My roasting pan wasn’t big enough. Had to cut off the end.
We all have patterns of how to do things. Hang toilet paper . . . squeeze toothpaste. . . eat pizza – some eat crust first.
Some of these beliefs serve you well. “Don’t reinvent the wheel.”
But some of these beliefs make no sense and limit you from the kind of life you want.
3 steps to a better life:
- See what you believe. Pay attention to the things you are doing and how is that working out for you.
If you have a small oven and roast pan, trim off 3”
But if you’re looking at the ladder and bananas and you’re sure that you aren’t supposed to climb up and get them. Then go to step 2.
- Ask yourself, “Why?”
From Folklore . . .
Flea circus – your own failures . . .
Cutting the roast – tradition
- Ask yourself, “Why not?”
Is the folklore true for me?
Is the lid still on the jar?
Do I have capacity for more – a bigger pan for the roast?
Typical person: Going through routine that isn’t terrible. But it isn’t awesome either.
Breaking free from limiting beliefs takes some work. Imagine it to be too hard.
Some of us reach the point where we can’t take it any more. Is this all there is to life?
The answer is whatever you decide.
Limits are in your mindset.
- Pay attention to what you believe
- Why?
- Why not?
Will answer the question, “No! This is not all there is to my life. I’ve only just started to know what I can do!”
Leave a Reply