How to Manage Your Emotions

Speaker notes

Important message: This won’t last!

Happy or sad, it doesn’t matter.

Emotions change. Whatever you are feeling right now . . . it won’t last.

For most of my life, I’ve tried to control my emotions.

Part of this came from growing up in church.

Too much passion – not a good Christian

Anger – not a good Christian

Drive to win (competition) – not a good Christian

Note: This is my own interpretation of what I learned. What got stuck in my subconscious.

So I kept a tight grip on showing my emotions. 

5 is the middle – I ranged 6.5 to 3.

The only strong emotions: depression, shame, anger

But I hid these & tried not to show them.

Mindset work I’ve done is to connect my mind and body to experience my emotions.

Even though I tried to control my emotions, they still showed up in my body.

I wasn’t really controlling them. I was ignoring them.

You can’t really control your emotions.

Have you ever had times when everything is going great and you feel on top of the world?

You want that feeling to last forever!

But it will fade, no matter what you do.

Or, when you feel like crap, even for good reason.

You feel like you’re going to be in a funk forever.

No matter what you do (or others) to cheer up. You feel better for a while, but then that heavy weight settles back over your heart.

The bad news / good news is that “It won’t last.”

Your good mood won’t last.

Your bad mood won’t last.

One of the things I’ve learned from running ultramarathons is that you will experience these emotional ups and downs during your race.

You’ll feel like you can run forever . . .

Then you’ll feel like you’re about to die . . .

You can’t control these emotions.

But you can manage them.

Often the success of your race depends on how you manage them.

3 steps – in context of running, but applies to life.

1. Feel the emotion.

Control: “I don’t want to feel this.” (block the pain)

Or, “I can’t let myself feel too good because the higher the high the lower the low.”

But when you accept the way you feel, the negative loses its power and you’re able to enjoy the good.

Guests on my podcast – works for physical pain as well. Resist = persists. 

Let it come then let it pass.

2. Detach your story from the emotion

“I can’t run any farther!”

“I can run forever!”

These are only stories you attach to your feelings.

Results:

Run faster. Burn through your energy.

You quit. 

Whatever story you’re telling, set it aside.

3. Create a new story

“I know this feeling won’t last. I’ll keep going until I feel better.”

“I feel good! I need to manage this feeling to get the most out of it.”

Two things to remember:

The way you feel right now wont’ last forever.

You can’t control how you feel, but you can manage your emotions by accepting the feeling and creating a story that helps you keep moving forward.