Speaking notes
You will face three roadblocks when you set out to be the best version of yourself and go after an epic life.
These aren’t the only roadblocks, but these are the ones waiting for you right out of the gait.
If you are feeling stuck, it’s probably one of these three mental blocks you’re dealing with.
If you are trying to grow, be the best version of yourself, you will have resistance.
Limiting beliefs that keep you from having what you want.
Last week I talked about ways to figure out what you want.
That is the first step!
Usually you will feel resistance. (You will feel resistance in the process of figuring out what you want.) But once you do, you will bump into your limiting beliefs.
These limiting beliefs are the reason you don’t already have what you want.
Power of limiting beliefs is fear.
Here are the top 3 fears that keep you stuck.
- Fear I don’t deserve to have what I want.
“Impostor syndrome.” Inner voice: “Who do you think you are?” (voices from PWM) “You’re not good enough.”
Related:
You’re selfish to want to be better than us. (Everyone gets a trophy)
** Your success might make others feel bad, so you should hold yourself back.
** When you are successful, you shouldn’t feel too good about yourself or celebrate.
(My belief) To be a good Xan you have to lay aside what you want and do something to serve God.
If you want something (strong desire) it’s probably not the will of God for your life.
God only gives you success so you can have money to give away to others. (Not just a Xan belief)
- Fear of failure.
All you perfectionists know what I’m talking about.
“If there’s a chance I might fail, why even try?”
Education system reinforces this to perfectionists and indoctrinates the rest of us.
You need to learn the “right” answers and be ready to show you know the “right” answers when we test you. If you don’t know the “right” answers, you FAIL!
In real life, there are few times you can’t recover from failure: skydiving
In real life, failure is the way you accomplish significant things!
Think about how you learned to walk. Walking is significant!
You fell down over and over.
You didn’t say, “Well, it’s obvious I’m not cut out to be a walker. I’ll stick to crawling”
But we adults are different. We stick to crawling because we failed or are afraid we might fail.
- Fear of success.
This one is not so obvious. Why would you fear success?
It’s related to Impostor Syndrome.
When you have success, your life changes. And most people don’t handle change very well.
First: Your family and friends know who you are and what to expect from you. They have a file in their mind w/ your name on it. They’ve made up their minds about who you are and what you do and how you fit into their world.
When you change, 1) They won’t see it. 2) It makes them uncomfortable.
You can see this when you lose weight or change your hair. You can see it clearly. Friends and family usually won’t notice.
They don’t see you. They see their memory file of you.
When you have success, it makes them uncomfortable, because they have to change their file system. Subconsciously they wonder if you’ll still fit in the file system of “People I like and want to hang out with!”
So success can make you afraid because your friends and family will treat you differently.
Also, you have the same kind of file system in your mind about who you are.
And, when you have success, you have to change how you see yourself.
Your identity determines what you allow yourself to do.
I’m an omnivore. If a vegan asks me to lunch, I’m willing to eat whatever looks good on the menu.
But if I offer a vegan a slab of BBQ ribs, they’ll say, “I’m a vegan.”
I run because I’m a runner. I know how to swim . . . but I’m not a swimmer.
Fear of success is sneaky. It’s harder to spot. But it can stop you in your tracks just as sure as fear of failure or feeling that you don’t deserve success.
How do you deal with resistance?
MINDSET
You can get past your limiting beliefs. As a mindset coach, I have a variety of strategies to help.
The first step is making a powerful decision. I’ll talk more about that next week.
If you are stuck with limiting beliefs, Impostor Syndrome, fear of failure, fear of success, I can help you get started on your road to success.
Free mindset reset call: ultramindsetpodcast.run
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